Strategies to make your classroom a better place for both you and your autistic students? Yes, please!
Stop the Bullying at All Costs
There is no excuse for tolerating open, blatant bullying. It doesn't matter if you didn't hear it, or if you're not sure that's what the other kid really meant, or if the autistic student in question doesn't seem to mind, or if you're tired of this kid yourself. No excuse, period. Anything that is reported to you or sounds condescending or insulting should be ended, not just for autistic students but for your entire class.
Help Redirect Certain Behaviors
Autistic people are known for "stimming," or doing something repetitive and often mindless that helps them focus, feel centered, and feel safe. (Note that last part: feel safe...are you going to demand that a student stop doing something that makes him feel safe?)
Some of these behaviors can lead to bullying from both classmates and other teachers. It might be talking to himself under his breath, playing with his pencil, rocking back and forth, getting up and walking, or any other calming behavior. It's your job to notice what it is and support it. If the current classroom activity doesn't allow for it, talk to the student and ask if there's something else he can do instead temporarily.
My daughter is considered on the very severe end of the spectrum, and as a result her stimming can be quite noticeable. She often jumps up and down and vocalizes, but through patient practice, we came up with a solution for crowded situations—she can squeeze her hands repeatedly. I do still have to ask her, "Can you squeeze your hands or do you need to go outside?" Usually she will start squeezing her hands, but it has happened that she was so overwhelmed we had to leave the movie or restaurant so she could jump.
Work with the Parents, Not Against Them
Every frustration you might feel when it comes to working with a specific student—autistic or not—is compounded exponentially for that child's parents. If you have an identified autistic student on your roster, reach out to the parents and simply ask them, "I want to do the very best that I can for your child. What does your child need from me?"
You might do well to check with your school's special ed teachers first, though. As you've learned with every single student you've taught, some parents cause more problems than they solve. Ideally, all parents have their kids' needs at the forefront, but we know that's not always true. There may also be a long-standing grudge between the school and the parents, one that has absolutely nothing to do with you, but it would be good to know about it first.
From there, listen. Let the parents tell you what this student's needs are, and talk about how to best accommodate those needs in class. Leave the lines of communication open and be available for the parent to let you know what's going right or wrong.
Know the Law
Aren't sure you can accommodate a special needs student? Let me make it easy for you: you don't have a choice. It's literally the law, and whatever is in that IEP is a signed contract between the student, his parents, the school, and you (even if you weren't the general education teacher to sign it). If you're not willing to write in a homework folder or communication notebook because "he's old enough to do it himself," I hope you have a lawyer because you're in violation of a federally-mandated contract if it says in the IEP that you're going to do it.
See how easy that was? Now, let's breathe and take a nicer approach. Don't think of it as just "the law," but rather think of those accommodations as the things the student, the parents, the teachers who've taught him before you, and even your school system administrators have decided are what he needs. Are you going to deny a child those things because they require extra effort?
From there, talk to the student about what else he needs to succeed in your class. It might be a seat away from a certain bulletin board because it's too "busy" looking, or an extra copy of the textbook so he keeps one at home and one in his locker. Wait, that's not fair to the other students? Guess what...if this was fair, your student wouldn't have autism. Get "fair" out of the equation and do what is best for him.
Wait, This Kid Isn't Autistic… I Think
Here is another reality of teaching: not all of your students are identified or receiving services they need. After really working with a student on the spectrum, you may start to notice other students who have similar traits or characteristics. You check your paperwork, but nope...they're not autistic.
There are a lot of reasons why a student might not be diagnosed, and those reasons would fill up several articles on their own. That doesn't help you, though, and it certainly doesn't help that student. If you find you have students who need a little different approach in your classroom, there is absolutely nothing wrong with making some accommodations for them, too. I'd hope you would do that for any student with a unique need.
The Most Important Advice
Perhaps the single most important advice I can give you is this: stop looking at this student and others like him as a challenge and make the decision that you will love him fiercely. Seriously. Decide right now that he is your favorite student, and even when that feels very far from the truth, repeat it: he is my favorite student...he is my favorite student... If it hasn't already, with the right attitude and the right actions, it will become true. When your students come to your classroom each day, make sure it's a place where their needs—all of their needs, both instructional and emotional—are being met.